Alcohol – My College Boyfriend

One of the biggest things that is obviously thrown out the window when one decides to have children, is alcohol. Sure, it’s not for everyone, but on a summer Friday night, there’s nothing better than sipping on a beer with friends, before planning a Saturday brunch with bottomless mimosas, and going to a Sunday cook out with sangria and cider. Okay – that’s a lot – but I’m sure one of those things sounds good! In honor of Fourth of July, here are a few VERY inappropriate drinks that I’d like to recommend to all the NOT PREGNANT ladies out there. (Side note, most of the titles won’t be child friendly either.) You’ve been warned!

All images will link to their origin sites which also include recipes.

5. Bend Over Shirley The most patriotic of them all! A grown up take on a drink we all loved as a child, the Bend Over Shirley will certainly thrust you right into adulthood. Sweet as can be, the drink is made with a simple mix of 1 oz vodka, 5 oz sprite, and 1 oz grenadine. This one definitely looks safe enough to drink at a family barbecue – especially with the adorable umbrella! So there you are! Enjoy these deliciously devious treats over the Fourth of July weekend while you still can – you’re not yet in charge of any tiny humans, so knock yourself out!

4. Sex on the Beach In case it wasn’t obviously, you should certainly avoid even mentioning this drink around little ones with tape recorder mouths. It will only lead to too many questions. But once they’ve gone to sleep, or like I mentioned earlier – before they’re born – get your fill of THESE babies. They are probably my favorite thing to order at a bar because of how hilarious the name is – some bartenders won’t make them for you, but they are crazy people. This drink is deliciously fruity – 1.5 oz peach schnapps, 1.5 oz vodka, 2 oz cranberry juice, 2 oz orange juice, 2 oz pineapple juice – and of course you can throw sliced fruit into it as well – oranges, cherries, you name it. Enjoy it at a sunny beach bar! Or you know, in your living room on a Tuesday.

3. Mountain Dew Me This one makes me giggle, and that is the only reason it’s here. Great marketing though! This guy’s made from 2 oz melon liqueur, 1 oz triple sec, 4 oz pineapple juice, and a splash of 7 Up. Which yeah, is weird, because there’s no Mountain Dew in it. I’m sure you could substitute out Mountain Dew for 7 Up, but that’s up to you. This is a fun one to recommend to friends and watch them furrow their brows as they say the name over and over in their head until they get the joke. This one is also on the lighter side alcohol-wise, so I recommend this one for the more light-weight folk out there!

2. Hot Pants I’m having a lot of fun with these silly names, you guys. This one may be a play on a classic margarita, but it’s just so much more fun to order! It’s a simple recipe – 2 oz tequila, 1/2 oz peppermint schnapps, 1 tablespoon grapefruit juice, 1 teaspoon sugar, rimmed with salt and a wedge of lime. A light, refreshing drink, very nice for those hot summer days. What’s better than water for a mid-summer drink? Tequila, obviously.

1. Adios M*therf*cker First on our list is the appropriately inappropriate, Adios M*therf*cker. I was first introduced to this drink at a college football rivalry game, and let me tell you – I have NO IDEA who won. It tastes like candy, and as you can see, is totally eye catching. I highly recommend it to all fans of blue Jolly Ranchers. It’s made up of 1/2 oz vodka, 1/2 oz rum, 1/2 oz tequila, 1/2 oz gin, 1/2 oz blue curacao, 2 oz sour mix, and 2 oz 7 Up. Sounds like fun doesn’t it?! Enjoy!

*In all seriousness, drink safely! Have a designated driver and be sure that you are definitely NOT pregnant, before enjoying all of these fun drinks.

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