Hello world! You know what’s crazy? When you spend years and months planning something HUGE in your life, only to realize you might have stumbled upon it.
Let’s start from the beginning.
Last week I was feeling sick. Nauseous, tired, grumpy, and also having consistent spotting which I NEVER have between periods. I quickly realized that I had missed 4 days at the beginning of my birth control pack after a trip cross country with Guy last month. Thinking back, my previous period never really got up to the heaviness I’m used to…
Cue a small freak out, me talking to Guy, and a very long email to my lady doctor about my symptoms, asking if there was a chance I was pregnant or maybe even ovulating – which is something I haven’t done in forever (I have never had a screw up with my BC pills this bad before.) I wasn’t nervous, but just to confirm before my bottomless-mimosa-brunch that weekend, Guy and I pulled out an emergency pregnancy test – it was negative. I felt like that would be the case, but when my doctor emailed me back, she scheduled me a blood test to confirm, just in case.
Needless to say, this freaked me out a bit. There are only two things that make me sick to my stomach – slugs and IV needles. I was not looking forward to having blood drawn. But Guy and I determined we were better safe than sorry, and went to the doctor’s office.
The guy took my blood (without so much having to wait in line) and 3 hours later we had an answer – not pregnant.
Like I said – I knew it. I just needed someone to tell me it wasn’t happening. And honestly? I was relieved. We both were. There’s a reason we’re waiting for another year (almost exactly) and it’s so that we ARE ready. It’s so that no matter what, without a doubt in our minds, we’re ready for that test to be positive. It’s so that we can’t wait to get the results. It’s so that we can cry and hug and be happy when my health insurance app dings that I have a new test result and it’s a confirmed yes. A “here I come!” from our future little one.
We have talked about our future nugget so much this week after going through this test, it’s been amazing. I’m glad we’ve gone through the practice run, we know what it’s like, we know how the results should look (and I know how crappy ovulation feels, oof!) and we know that we’re waiting for all the right reasons.
It was an interesting experience, and I’m glad to have gone through that. Even the small chance of it happening made me confident that in a year, we will totally be able to do this.